Thursday, February 23, 2012

A New Not So Depressing Chapter

I must tell you about new interesting developments in my life. First a little back-story. A little more than a year ago in 2010 I received a friend request from a female. For the sake of her anonymity we will call her Kara. Not much was thought of this. Kara then began to send me messages, sparking conversation, and eventually creating a connection. First we talked about music, and television back then those were my only interests. We connected, short after the first two months I became interested in a girl that turned out to not be at all interested in me. Bummer. Kara remained there, her messages dormant every so often popping up to say hello. Many of these were ignored by me, but Kara was always there, a background fantasy an ideal ying for my yang. It seemed too good to pursue. Until recently. Two weeks ago she began texting me, I remained distant in fear of being perceived as needy. We began to show more, and more interest in each other. We shared more, and more stories of intimate experiences, anecdotes, thoughts. Very movie-like. Rest assured this is all the truth. And soon after the dance of a thousand text messages we decided to meet.

The First Encounter,

I was nervous, I spent an afternoon waiting for the time to come. Inside an empty burger-king I waited for 8:30 to come. I received a text, she said she would be right up the street from there. I killed my milkshake, and began the pilgrimage towards what would turn out to be one of the best days in recent memory. The street was pitch black, except for the lights of passing cars. Momentary glimpses of ground, and home, and trees. Near the corner a silouete I recognized it from her facebook picture. I could tell it was her but the cars passing by would give me but seconds of visibility. At this point there are two things going through my mind. Will she be the same in person? Is her voice pleasant or annoying, and whiny? And then I was close enough that I could see her face, and the later question was answered as the first word she ever said to me climbed out of her mouth. A pleasant surprise, the first of the evening. Her voice, smooth like those red velvet ropes at the bank, it evoked the same feeling as this song http://youtu.be/cJsyMmC76aM . My thoughts are quieted, and the non-calculative part of me burst out of its cage, and there I was vulnerable, available, and completely captivated by this person, and her words, and her thoughts, and her body. We walked up to a park that resides atop a mountain, talking sharing each other. We walked in, and we saw the lights, the bright and humble colonial lamps. Marking the road up to a library, the architecture of which makes it look like an Arab palace. We walked around the outside halls, and found the most magic spot, a place behind the library lit by the only lamp that was not like the others this one looked like an orb. Due to an obvious technical malfunction the light in this one had cycles. It began dark, and slowly gained force it became blue, and light blue, and orange, and then bright red, and then it shut off, and began its cycle over again. In front, and off to the side of it by a few feet of it were benches, and next to it a sequoia tree. She commented on it. I told her its look as as if it touched the sky. So much so that it felt as if by climbing it you could pick an airplane right off the cloud covered sky. It reminded me of king kong. I put my arm behind her on the bench. After a few seconds she leaned into it, until we ended up comfortably me cradling her in my arms. She grabbed my hand, and began playing with it. Effortless speech pouring from our mouths each word marking a tic closer to the time in which we had to leave. As if time rushed in shyness, an hour and a half had passed. We got up from the bench, and went further into the dark park. To find another pleasant surprise, a perfect smooth circle of grass outlined with palm trees. A single picnic table in the center. And one star, one jealous star peeking through the clouds. We looked into each others eyes, and it happened. A kiss. Which soon became a lusty exchange of appreciation. Another hour, and a half of this. And it was time for her to leave, I walked her to her house, close to this small cluster of shops meant to kick you back into the 40's We walked around there, and found a brick wall. My lips were a little chapped,  she brought out a chapstick. And applied it to my lips, and then she kissed me again it tasted minty, and fresh. A toothpaste kiss. I walked her home, and then I walked the wonderfull contortion of feelings that I was to my own house, and I slept happy, and sad, and craving more of her. Of her company, of her thoughts, of her soft lips, of her. 
Here's a song for the road: http://youtu.be/t_tR5cCtGtE

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

We are who we are. Lottery sucks.”- Olivia Wilde. One of my favorite T.V. shows to watch is House MD. In the most recent episode, #13 (Olivia Wilde's character on the show), makes an interesting point when she mentions that who we are is written in our genetic code. For example, if you are a sad person no matter how much you do to try to be happy, you will always end up sad. This seems unlikely to me, however my personal experience says she is right so far. I think I am going to try to prove her wrong, If I fail it wont matter much because Ill just end up were I started right? something else that made me think was this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nvb2EAfOo-4 I can relate to this guy, and maybe most of us have a twisted view of ourselves. For example sometimes I feel like I am just a collection of the movies and TV shows and vloggers that I have seen. I want to live like the cast of 'how I met your mother' be as cool as "the doctor", have the inside of my mind be like 'donnie darko', as care free as 'weezy waiter', have the political knowledge of 'the amazing atheist' be able to create movies and videos like 'freddie wong' be able to cook like 'epic meal time', be as good a person as 'philip defranco', be as cool as 'jason segel'. as successful and hilarious as 'adam sandler'... and the list goes on, and on. I honestly don't remember if I ever was anything of my own, If anyone was.

Song of the day:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAM8BqjfcIM (this one is not at all related to the post, the song of the day is usually what I was listening to while I was writing the post)

Monday, May 9, 2011

I like to listen to music when I wake up, simply because I enjoy it. It usually is the same or pretty close to my emotional and mental states. Today was odd, I started out listening to crash kings, the suddenly i got a craving for MC. Chris, this song in specific ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0BIazf-7j4) You might recognize it from, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Am I the only one this happens to?.


Saturday, May 7, 2011

I didn't do anything today. I thought about doing things, and it always feels like i did something but I really didn't. I watched a bunch of movies, ate doughnuts and pop tarts all day long. And I dont regret it, but I probably will do something tomorrow, go for a walk, call a friend, build something. I really cant remember what I used to do to entertain myself before I had a computer. Do you?


Thursday, May 5, 2011

My life is boring. My older sister is a high school dropout working at a hospital as a doctors assistant, she is a regular at the shooting range, lives by the beach, and she honestly has almost no money at all. She should write a blog. Not me. I am a junior in high school I dont know were I am going in life, I spend most of my time in front of this computer, and I only have two or three real friends, and 150 facebook "friends". My life is boring, and I should not be blogging but it feels right, and good. Today I got caught ditching 6th period, my excuse seemed valid to the assistant principal. I told him the truth when he asked me were I was supposed to be and why I wasn't there, I said "Fashion class I have trouble being in there wouldn't you?"(I am not a girl),then he gave me a pass so I wouldn't be marked tardy and he said "you are better off leaving the campus next time" and then he let me go. Fuck Yeah.
Song of the day: http://youtu.be/4NZdggNUvq0